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September 2, 2010 |
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November 03, 2009 |
By: The Rodent |
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ou’ve come a long way, baby, but it may be the wrong way. Some women lawyers have gone from blue suits and white bow-tied blouses to dressing like hookers. It’s liberating to dress as you please, but is it liberation?
 The late federal judge, Lenore Nesbitt, would be rolling over in her grave if she saw some of what passes for proper legal attire. Back in the day, she would send women out of her courtroom if they wore open-toed shoes. Pearls were de rigueur if you appeared before her. She would have been truly horrified to see bare-legged lawyers wearing sandals to court. I can only imagine her reaction to deep cleavage and pierced body parts.
 Perhaps I’m channeling Judge Nesbitt, but I don’t think women lawyers advance their case for recognition, challenging work and better opportunities for advancement when they dress like sexpots. Powerful women — think Hillary Clinton, Condoleezza Rice and Sandra Day O’Connor — do not look like tarts. Nor did they ever. People listen to what they are saying because they aren’t distracted by what they’re wearing. Yes, Michelle Obama is a lawyer and she bares her arms. But she’s not lawyering these days, she’s the first lady.
 Women who dress like Barbie dolls get treated like Barbie dolls. I know a lawyer who is in her mid-30s. She is stunning — tall, long blonde Lady Godiva hair and a body that would make a porn star jealous. This woman also happens to be a crackerjack lawyer. But she dresses to emphasize her looks, not her mind; as a result, her career seems to have stalled. Though she is an extremely bright woman, no one sees past the stilettos and low-cut blouses.
 Cleavage everywhere
 Bare is never the right look when you are in lawyer mode. Don’t fall into the booby trap, which is so popular these days. I see cleavage everywhere I go — law students, associates and the occasional middle-age lawyer who really ought to know better.
 In a recent episode of “Desperate Housewives,” one of the characters is pregnant with twins, and she has become quite bodacious — no one knows she is expecting. Her boss wants her in décolleté in order to woo a client, so she obliges and wears something that shows off “the girls” to great advantage. The prospective clients slobber appropriately and sign up, but she helped some guy get a client, not one for herself. Clients tend not to hire women who look like hookers unless they hire them as hookers. Don’t show your “girls” at work unless you are looking for a one-night stand.
 Pantyhose seems to be going the way of bustles and hoop skirts. Bare legs may be both fetching and fashionable, but are a foolish choice for professional settings. Judges, opposing counsel and bosses are usually Baby Boomers. They may admire a tan, well-turned leg, assuming it is, but it also may prevent them from admiring your legal acumen.
 Frumpy is the opposite end of the spectrum, and I see a lot of that these days, too. Looking like an unmade bed — wrinkled clothes, no makeup, dirty hair — doesn’t inspire much confidence either. It doesn’t read “smart girl, must be an intellectual,” but rather “lazy.” If you’re messy about yourself, it suggests you may be messy about your work.
 Appear to be serious
 Nothing is messier than chipped nails. Dark goth colors are in — I wear them myself. Nasty, chipped nails are the worst. I’ve seen young women lawyers with chipped nails that look like they’ve been doing dishes or gardening all day. When your nails chip, take off the polish or get a new manicure.
 A tattoo that shows is NEVER appropriate when you are a female attorney. A discreet butterfly may be OK, but not in a place where it can be seen. And regardless of profession, I promise you that once you are a woman of a certain age, your skin will lose elasticity, and that cute Asian saying — which was meant to be spiritual but probably means “two cats howling” — simply won’t look good when it’s sagging.
 Young lawyers, both male and female think it’s OK to dress down. It is when you aren’t working, but don’t do it when you’re with my clients. I don’t want you in client meetings looking like you’re ready to go grocery shopping. I’ve had clients come in unexpectedly, and when someone is dressed inappropriately, I don’t include them in the meeting. It’s disrespectful to the client. Law is serious business, and you aren’t going to be taken seriously unless you appear to be serious. That means no gold strappy sandals for work.
 I knew an associate who wore shoes that looked like she was a bridesmaid. She was a good lawyer, but there was a real disconnect between those gold sandals and the notion that she wanted to go the distance as a lawyer. She didn’t, and the shoes were a tip-off.
 Before you go to work in the morning, think of your mother saying, “You’re not leaving the house in that outfit.” If she wouldn’t approve of what you’re wearing, change your clothes. It will be good for your career, and she would be proud.
 After years of silence, the Rodent has returned to the DBR’s pages. It’s a new voice — or voices — for the local legal community. And this time the Rodent has diversified. Previously, the column was a rant by an anonymous disgruntled cog. But associates may be shocked to hear opinions from a corner office with a view. Other times, protests might emanate from echelons of a lower stature. And, as the weeks unfold, it could take a judge — or an arbitrator — to resolve the dispute.

Reader's comments ab said:I absolutely agree! I've seen women lawyers in camisoles - totally not professional. The chipped nailpolish is seriously detracting -- looks like details don't matter, and of course, they do. There is a huge middle ground these days so really no need to push the boundaries of good taste, yet so many clearly do. Nov. 3 at 9:30 a.m.
No name said: I absolutely agree with The Rodent. As a young female attorney I am often shocked by what some of my fellow female colleagues wear both in court and in the office (and it usually falls on the side of frumpiness/slovenly). Ladies, I don't care how far along into your pregnancy you may be, it is never appropriate to wear a sleeveless top when appearing in court and no, a cardigan is not a blazer. Who told these women that you don't have to wear a business suit to court?? 9:41 a.m.
Travis McGee said: Couldn't agree more. One day at motion calendar I sat in the courtroom next to a young female attorney who wore black fishnets with an off-white dress that was well above the knee and, of course, 4-inch stilletos. That combination would have been risque in a lounge setting, let alone a courtroom. But is this a South Fla. thing? When I go to court in Tampa or other parts of the country the female attorneys are dressed much more appropriately. 10:53 a.m.
No name said: This article seems to be written by someone who does not understand the reality of things. The whole world does not have a silly "big law firm mentality." What makes you think the girl with the chipped nails is not a millionaire Plaintiff's lawyer? What makes you think the sexy crackerjack lawyer doesn't get a laugh everytime she is underestimated? You think clients are stupid and only hire the "well dressed?" Most of my clients prefer to see me in jeans and a t-shirt. Have you ever considered that one morning after getting the kids ready, doing the dishes, making breakfast, walking the dog, breastfeeding the baby, taking three calls, calling mom, talking with the gardner, filling up tires, and getting dressed in a dark closet after a midnight briefing session, a woman could still beat you up in oral argument without a stupid $120 itchy suit from Macys? Please -- go back to high school if you think being pretty and wearing the right shoes is this important. 5:03 p.m.
Robert A. said: I like the look. Rather see that then some of the hags on the bench.6:21 p.m.
Martha said: Finally, somebody speaks "my" mind. I am a mature attorney but can't keep from wondering if am living in another world or what. I have seen attorneys with decolletes so deep that "the girls" stick out. Men get around like bees to honey, it is sometimes shocking. But, hey, I am older and mature. Thank you again.... 7:13 p.m. |
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